Go West — Please

Time: About halfway through the film “Birdman of Alcatraz.”
Scene: The office of the editor of The Kansas City Star. A woman is explaining to the editor her relationship to Robert Stroud, the famous “birdman of Alcatraz.”

Newspaper editor (quizzically): Let me understand you, now. Are you trying to tell me that you married a man serving a life term in solitary at Leavenworth Penitentiary?

Stella (haltingly): Yes. Yes.

Newspaper editor: And where did the ceremony take place?

Stella: At the penitentiary.

Newspaper editor: At the, uh, prison chapel, no doubt.

Stella (with indignity): No, sir. It was a civil ceremony.

Newspaper editor: And are you further trying to tell me that it is now nearly an hour and a half into the film “Birdman of Alcatraz” and we are not even in California yet?!

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