Coda: ‘What Just Happened?’

Huskers - Waiving Flag -  TOUCHDOWN!!

(Photo credit: beatboxbadhabit)

Lets be honest: The Huskers few losses over the past few years have been bad. They haven’t just lost; they’ve been embarrassed. But that got me wondering — does everybody just get embarrassed once or twice a season nowadays, or is this something that the Huskers are particularly bad at? …Fundamentally, getting embarrassed is all relative to expectations, when the team falls so far short of them that it really grabs even the casual observers attention.

via How Embarrassing Have the Huskers Losses Been, Really? A Look at the Stats – Corn Nation.

It’s over. To me, anyway, the Huskers’ season is over, and I am done. But I came across this article from Corn Nation and it scratched an itch I had. What I was wondering was, Is this what college football is like now? Do major college programs, if mediocre ones, really just blow it — and I mean, really blow it — a couple of times a year?

The answer to the question posed in the excerpt above — “Is this something that the Huskers are particularly bad at?” — is a qualified yes, insofar as it is possible to conclude from the hastily constructed and thoroughly imperfect metric. The writer at Corn Nation, by his own admission, came up with a simple answer for a complicated question, but it was good enough for me.

Clearly, something is wrong with Nebraska’s football program. But is it the system? Is it just rolls of the dice? Can it be fixed? Or will it just fade away on its own? For me, the reasons why are not particularly important. It’s too broad a playing field, I think, for a useful discussion.

A common complaint is that the coach, Bo Pelini, seems never to know how to explain such defeats. Possibly, they are inexplicable. Probably, Mr. Pelini is too arrogant to be appropriately self-analytical, even for the tiny attention spans of sportswriters. In any event, Mr. Pelini’s remarks — which usually involve phrases like “lack of execution” — shed no light on the subject.

If I am honest, I don’t really know what “embarrassed” has to do with college football; the corresponding feeling I have is one akin to whiplash. The what-just-happened emotion that churns your stomach after your car hits a deer on a dark night.

But unlike the human participant of such a wreck, who might be moved to ask for medical help or puzzle over a smashed fender, I empathize more with the frightened, wounded animal, stumbling into the woods, trailing gouts of blood in search of a quiet place to lie down.

On the Long Ball and Shortsightedness

Babe Ruth, full-length portrait, standing, fac...

Babe Ruth. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Of their 412 runs scored, 209 — or 50.7% — have come on home runs. The daily display of power helped the Yankees finish the first half with the majors’ best record, but are they setting themselves up for a disappointing October?

via Yankees relying on home run for offensive output, which could be trouble in MLB playoffs – NY Daily News.

The Yankees may indeed be setting themselves up for a disappointing October (e.g. Manager Joe Girardi is clearly slipping into a form of madness), but do not expect The News to tell you why. I had expected, in the article excerpted above, a thesis along the lines of “fewer home runs are hit, per game, in the playoffs,” or something. Instead, the article is rooted in a pair of out-of-context statistics: Only two of the 30 most productive home-run-hitting teams actually won a World Series, and only 11 qualified for the playoffs.

That is how they tried to get O. J., of course. What is relevant to the Yankees is not how the most productive home-run-hitting teams fared. It is how the most productive teams that also had a strong record fared. Unfortunately, I am too lazy to thoroughly look that up, but I can tell you that:

  • The last time the Yankees led the league in home runs (2009), they won the World Series.
  • Only two of the last 10 World Series champions hit fewer home runs than the league average — four were in the Top 5.
  • And of the 26 so-called walk-off, game-winning hits in the World Series since 2002, half were home runs.

After an analysis at least as sophisticated The News’s, I am going to go ahead and conclude that home runs correlate strongly with World Series victories.

Anyway, it really does not matter how the Yankees have won their games because they already won them. More to the point is only a fool will try to predict the rest of this season based on the first half.

Allow me to try, though.

The nugget I would like to pull, out of context, from The News article is this: “The Yankees have played 71 of their 85 games against teams playing .500 or better…” And all they have is the best record in baseball.

That seems like it bodes well. Looking at a hypothetical playoff series, the Yankees have three  starters (if you include Andy Pettitte) with earned run averages under 3.50. The bullpen, with a balanced workload, has four solid guys with E.R.A.’s under 3. And then there is the offense, which has somehow contributed to winning 52 games while batting only .231 with runners in scoring position.

The Ever-Elusive Michael Vick

8:29 PM John
I like how Vick said this, and no one told him he is an idiot: “I’m a firm believer in God, and I believe in karma,” said Vick…

8:32 PM Samantha
karma, for him, will be a bitch. …Idiot

…There, I said it!

The formerly disgraced quarterback Michael Vick, when speaking to prospective N.F.L. rookies on Monday, displayed a rhetorical agility far greater than any head-turning juke he performed on a football field. Vick was addressing the league’s so-called rookie symposium, apparently as a designated bogeyman, having spent nearly two years in prison after being convicted for his role in an appalling dogfighting racket. As Vick put it:

That’s bad. You dont want to end up that way.

via Michael Vick orders NFL rookies not to count on second chances | NFL.com.

Most media outlets took the new and improved Vick at full, fantasy value (ranked No. 19 in 2010!), describing his talk as candid and powerful. My own thinking was tackled by Vick’s assertion (in the same sentence!) that he is “a firm believer in God” and “in karma.”

He only looks angry. (From “Creation of the Sun and Moon” on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, by Michelangelo.

I do not mean to endorse spiritual world views in this space, let alone promulgate my own, such as they are. But it does seem like part of the overall bargain that such views have a semblance of internal consistency. Vick’s seeming ignorance of the monumental clash between the monotheistic first clause of his comment and the polytheistic second clause is enough to cause serious, if only mental, injury.

To be fair to Vick, that dualistic mind-set jibes well with the rest of America, which seems to have no difficulty or compunction picking and choosing from among the bible’s many inconsistencies and contradictions, and then spending all evening watching TV programs about aliens, bigfoots and other supernatural oddities.

Vick goes on, as if cracking into a busted dialectical play. Vick warns that “if you don’t appreciate what God gave you,” “he’ll take that away from you.” In Vick’s case, of course, it was the federal government that took away what God “gave” him, not God himself, but the record in Scripture is not exactly clear. Some of the time, God takes it away from you even if you do appreciate it (Job 1:1). And some of the time, God just squares up his shoulders and goes linebacker all over you (Genesis 32:24-5).

The rest of Vick’s speech is a jumble of stale platitudes, not surprising from a football player but faithfully, disappointingly, reported by The A.P. and the N.F.L., among others: “You’ve got a lot of learning to do, a lot of life to live…”; “Your friend can’t make you do something you really don’t want to do if you’re strong enough to say no”; “Trust yourself”; “Once this is over, it’s over”; “Enjoy the ride.”

The best part, probably, is that most observers took Vick’s central message to be that rookies should not count on second chances. Apparently, that stems more from Vick’s notion of karma than whatever prison-Christian heresies he has adopted. Second chances are, or so I have read, a bedrock of Christian theology.

Also on the End of Football

…in a recent appearance on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno,” the Hall of Fame quarterback Terry Bradshaw said he believed that concern over head injuries would cause football to be eclipsed in popularity by soccer and other sports within 10 years.

via With Fears About Safety, Football Faces Uncertain Evolution – NYTimes.com.

The Bronx Is Boring

The current roster is completely inflexible, with big contracts all of the place and nowhere to move these guys. …The Yankees made their bed with these guys and now they have to sleep in it.

via Yanks in need of a shake-up that isn’t coming | River Avenue Blues.

I am nostalgic for those halcyon days of the preseason, when wags railed against the Yankees’ supposed surplus of quality starting pitching. It will be interesting to see how this scab of a roster hardens over time, and more so how the Yankees will start to pick at it.

Here’s a Brite

He arranged to buy his bike back. A man came out of an alley at 5th and Longfellow streets NW with the bike, and Lesh took it for a “test ride.” Lesh simply rode off without paying.

via Vigilante Bicyclist Gets His Stolen Bike Back | NBC4 Washington.

Not as Good an Idea as They Think It Is

…Notre Dames new adidas cleats, which are designed to look like the flag of Ireland.

via Notre Dame to wear Irish flag cleats for season opener in Ireland photo | Dr. Saturday – Yahoo! Sports.

Will it come with colored trainers tape designed to look like the flag of Ireland?

The Nets Stink, but Fans Blame Themselves

“But I don’t know that we deserve it. Even when we had the great teams, we didn’t sell out that much. We basically have ourselves to blame.”

via Mixed Emotions for Fans as Nets Prepare to Depart for Brooklyn – NYTimes.com.

What’s Eating You?

Yankee Stadium, which added a slew of better food options when it opened in 2009. Skip the dogs and get meatball subs from Rich Torrisi and Mario Carbone at Parm, fried pickles from Brother Jimmys BBQ, juicy steak sandwiches from Lobels, and candy from Dylans Candy Bar.

via What to Eat at Yankee Stadium, Home of the NY Yankees – Stadium Dining Guides – Eater NY.

“Skip the dogs and get,” you know, whatever is fair advice, though it should be said that there is nothing — often including the baseball team — at Yankee Stadium that is worth the trip. Over all, I admit, the food is much improved in the new ballpark. Unfortunately, to acquire any of the most-interesting,-though-not-really-tantalizing comestibles mentioned in the Eater review, you have to descend to the field level. And that means you will be out of your seat for multiple innings. (Unless, you are sitting down there in the first place, of course; but who besides [expletives deleted] does that?)

A journey like that might be worth it if Yankee Stadium was heaped on top of something like Eataly, but it isn’t, of course, and the fact is it takes long enough to simply queue in the upper deck for a plain Famiglia personal pizza ($8) and souvenir cup of Miller Lite ($11). (Not recommended, by the way; whatever charms a regular Famiglia slice may hold for you, the Yankee Stadium version is a lukewarm, spongy-crusted, weakly-sauced imposter.)

There is plenty of choice on the 300-level concourse, of course. And though all of it is uninspiring, if you keep walking you might find something that you, literally, can stomach.

The smarter play, though, is to surf the delis and ethnic restaurants outside the ballpark, because you can bring in your own food so long as you leave out the plastic bottles and have it all in a clear plastic sack. Gerard Avenue, a block to the east of River Avenue, has along a bustling stretch from E. 158th Street to the broken-elbow of E. 162nd a full-on New York diner, a fried-chicken joint, a Caribbean place and an Indian restaurant. Tucked in there on the east side (across the street from the back end of Yankee Tavern) is the Bleachers, a grim bodega that caters to the lottery-ticket-and-beer-can-in-a-bag crowd. But there is a bare-bones deli inside, and the sandwiches are fat and cheap.

Stop Wasting Time!

Despite being a copycat league, most NFL teams don’t do it while the best teams and the best quarterbacks — Tom Brady and Peyton Manning — kill people with it every week.

via The Future of the NFL: More Up-tempo No-huddle | Smart Football.