The Sunday Obituary No. 7

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Soon after the Estes indictments, however, Mr. Freeman, the agriculture secretary, disclosed that a key investigator on the case, Henry Marshall, had been found dead in Texas — bludgeoned on the head, with nearly fatal amounts of carbon monoxide in his bloodstream and five chest wounds from a single-shot bolt-action rifle. Local officials ruled it suicide, but the body was exhumed and the cause changed to homicide.

via Billie Sol Estes, Texas Con Man, Dies at 88 – NYTimes.com.

 

Employee of the month.

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Frantz Schmidt was a master executioner. He had a notarized certificate to prove it. He apprenticed under a master; he paid his journeymans dues. He mostly worked in the imperial city of Nuremberg during his forty-five years of service, 1573-1618. He executed 394 people: men, women, and some boys and girls. Schmidt, always poised, delivered a good death, whether he beat you to kingdom come with a wagon wheel or applied the pitch and touched the flame, slipped the noose or cut off your head.

via The Faithful Executioner – The Barnes & Noble Review.

 

Suspicion and the Temporary Office

[11:08 AM] Bob : Subject: …I got a door…

[11:22 AM] Me: Hospital room?

[12:15 PM] Bob : …transitional office…’till my new cube is ready….imagine coming to work after a week of blowing off phone calls and emails …and you go to your desk to find…nothing…not even a note telling where you are supposed to go….

[12:16 PM] Me: Sound like you have some jokers in your office

[12:20 PM] Bob : …just shut and locked my door….

[12:22 PM] Me: Do you smell almonds, kinda bitter smell?

[12:22 PM] Me: See smoke? Hear a hissing sound?

[12:23 PM] Me: Did anyone offer to buy you anything you want for lunch?

[12:23 PM] Bob : …just opened it… freedom.

Link

Sounds like a pretty good plan. Except, of course, for all the losing. Yeah, if you ignore all the losses on the field, the Mariners have a darned good business plan that continues to enable them to make money at the worst of times while long-term franchise value grows exponentially in the face of a pending ownership transfer of some sort and/or the chance at a lucrative new local television deal no later than 2015.

via Mariners turned a profit of just under $5.9 million last season | Mariners blog | Seattle Times.

 

Crap for Sale

Pumpkin 2 - "Bo Pelini"

“Bo Pelini” pumpkin. (Photo credit: kylestern)

Ameer Abdullah ran for 101 yards and a touchdown, and Nebraskas defense dominated after [Denard] Robinson left with an injury late in the first half in a 23-9 victory over No. 20 Michigan on Saturday night.

via Nebraska beats No. 20 Michigan 23-9; Robinson hurt – Yahoo! Sports.

“I don’t buy into any of that crap,” Nebraska Coach Bo Pelini told reporters after the game.

If anything ever did, that says it all.

Mr. Pelini was referring to the natural and irritating tendency of sportswriters to jerk back and forth across the road of speculation. Last week, Mr. Pelini was being asked if he had made plans to hang himself; this week, sportswriters were wondering he had already hired someone to knit conference championship banners.

What Mr. Pelini could be referring to, however, is the sentiment that Nebraska’s passage to the title game of the so-called Big Ten has been vouchsafed by the ungainly win Saturday night. Because we don’t buy into any of that crap either.

There was lots of dribble in the media about Nebraska’s defensive players declining to wear their coveted black shirts before the game; you know, because they didn’t deserve to. Lost in the noise was the undeniable fact that those same Huskers have stumbled on a brilliant strategy for winning football games: Exploit inexperienced quarterbacks.

In the opener, Nebraska befuddled twin newbies for Southern Miss. Against Wisconsin, it was the redshirt freshman Joel Stave. In Evanston, it was the unpopular Trevor Siemian, who had inexplicably replaced Kain Colter.

On Saturday, to its credit, Nebraska’s defense had to first pound its way past a fairly accomplished quarterback in Denard Robinson. He is not exactly a Landry Jones, Matt Barkley type, but he has speed and experience. And had beaten Nebraska before. Mr. Robinson’s injury in the first half sent into the arena the freshman Russell Bellomy, who had thrown only five passes this season.

When Bellomy entered the game at first-and-goal at the 8, Nebraska’s defense licked its chops. NU had already put up a roadblock on the Michigan run game. With an inexperienced pocket passer now in the house, the werewolves were coming from all angles on blitzes and various pressures.

via Shatel: Huskers come up big in crucial game – Omaha.com.

Tom Shatel’s overwrought prose notwithstanding, the young quarterback did seem to struggle. Michigan gained only 188 yards on offense, a season low; and Mr. Bellomy threw three picks, which was as many as Nebraska’s defense had totted so far in this middle-aged season.

Yet, that was not exactly the ballgame.

While hamstrung Michigan struggled mightily, so did Nebraska’s offense, arguably its best asset. It needed three field goals to reach 23 points; quarterback Taylor Martinez threw an interception himself, and passed for only 166 yards. As Mr. Pelini told reporters after the game, “We left some points out there.”

Of course, the Huskers played without arguably their best player, Rex Burkhead, and the victory margin was comfortable even if the performance that led to it was not.

So what can you say about the game — which was, as The Associated Press put it,
“billed as the second meeting ever between quarterbacks who each have 5,000 yards passing and 2,000 yards rushing in their careers” — other than the advertising sponsors were probably none too happy about the gruesome spectacle unfolding between commercial breaks.

Still, where would we be without optimists?

So, yeah, Nebraska should feel much differently. Much better, if only because the discussion in Huskerland shifts from Pelini’s job security to NU’s chances to win its first league title since 1999. One could argue that most of the heavy lifting is finished.

via Steven M. Sipple: Out of the muck, Huskers now Big Ten favorites : Latest Husker News.

Really, the only thing that is in Nebraska’s favor is the cold, heartless math.

The Huskers are 6-2 over all and 3-1 in the conference, tied for first place with Michigan. Obviously, Nebraska has the tie breaker over Michigan, and improbably, it is most likely to be the odds-on favorite to win its four remaining regular-season games: at Michigan State (5-4, 2-3), Penn State (5-3, 3-1), Minnesota (5-3, 1-3), at Iowa (4-4, 2-2).

What remains is to actually win those games. And, as we have seen, that is far from a sure thing for this club. In other words, it isn’t the same as Nebraska’s being Nebraska. But what can be said about Mr. Pelini is that he is, so far, making the most of a mediocre situation. Never mind that the mediocre situation — inconsistent play, unremarkable players — is entirely of his making.

And what has changed for Nebraska is that now its players and coaches have a chance to honestly, credibly play to win again, instead of playing merely to avoid a disaster. Of course, disaster remains a distinct possibility, perhaps even a prevailing likelihood.

What was I saying about optimists?

“You can’t be so short-sighted as a coach to tell them that, ‘Hey, if you don’t win, it’s over. That’s crazy,’” said the Nebraska defensive coordinator John Papuchis.

The Walking Guns

For the past year and a half, some Republicans have promoted the idea that Holder and other top-level officials at the Justice Department knew federal agents in Operation Fast and Furious had engaged in a risky tactic known as “gun-walking.” Two of Holders e-mails and one from Cole appear to show that they hadn’t known about gun-walking but were determined to find out whether the allegations were true.

via The Associated Press: AG emails: Get to the bottom of Fast and Furious.

English: Actor Charlton Heston at the Civil Ri...

English: Actor Charlton Heston at the Civil Rights March in Washington, D.C. in August 1963. Magyar: Charlton Heston az 1963-as, polgári jogokért folytatott washingtoni menetben (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The beautiful irony of this it-will-end-up-going-nowhere scandal is that the natural, rational outcome of Republicans’ criticism would be to call for a natural, rational reassessment of the patchy and toothless laws that cover gun control in this country. You know, so that the amateurs in the Justice Department will be unable to foul things like this up in the future.

Sadly, that will not help people like Darrell Issa raise money for their re-election campaigns. You can just about imagine the gnarled, bony finger of the entombed Charlton Heston making an undead Shhh! sign over pursed, leathery lips. (“You damned, dirty politicians!”)

“Republican senators are whipping up the country into a psychotic frenzy with these reports that are patently false,” says Linda Wallace, a special agent with the Internal Revenue Service…

via The truth about the Fast and Furious scandal – Fortune Features.

The real cause of violence and crime south of the border, it reports, is lax gun laws in Arizona and elsewhere pushed by Republicans and their friends at the National Rifle Association.

via GOP Votes for Contempt as “Fast and Furious” Blows Up in Its Face | Mother Jones.

The House of Representatives on Thursday voted to hold Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. in contempt for failing to disclose internal Justice Department documents in response to a subpoena. It was the first time in American history that Congress has imposed that sanction on a sitting member of a president’s cabinet.

via Fast and Furious Contempt Citation for Holder – NYTimes.com.

What Soldiers Are Worth

In November 2003, the two sides agreed on a cease-fire; since then neither has fired a shot. Yet thousands of men remain, still dying from the brutal conditions — in April, an avalanche buried 140 Pakistani troops and their civilian staff alive.

via Cold War – By Myra MacDonald | Foreign Policy.

…164 active-duty Army, National Guard, and Reserve troops took their own lives in 2011, compared with 159 in 2010 and 162 in 2009.

via Active-Duty Army Suicides Reach Record High – NYTimes.com.

This Is What Copy Editors Find Interesting

Even if you enjoy the subject of style as much as I do, you have to admit that the whole point of style is to be invisible.

via Blogslot: Hopefully, Everyone Will Do as They See Fit.

Worst Part Is, He Didn’t Win

A Kansas man was struck by lightning hours after buying three Mega Millions lottery tickets on Thursday…

via Kansas man struck by lightning hours after buying lottery tickets – Yahoo! News.

Unarmed Black Men, No. 5

Campbell was shot in the back and was unarmed.

via Arbitrator: Officer who shot and killed man should get job back KATU.com.