On Weighty Matters, and Ranch Seasoning

[10:24 AM] Bob: …so any way [redacted] is talking abouit [redacted]’s …surgery…and weight loss….for a benchmark for those that did not know heavy [redacted]…she has been using me ….as the benchmark….thought this would give you a chuckle….a tickle….yeah…

[10:58 AM] Me: It did make me laugh. Thanks. But I am disturbed by this trend toward emphasizing negative traits about you. Why is that, I wonder?

[1:47 PM] Bob: …trend….who’s been talking…

[1:50 PM] Me: [redacted], for one. I just wanted you to know that you are my hero.

[1:52 PM] Bob: …one is not a trend…one is one….an event…hold the horses

[2:04 PM] Me: Anyway, it’s not important who said what, is it? You a good guy, no matter what.

Doritos

[2:48 PM] Bob: …yeah….had to dip into Doritos and Mountain Dew…feel better now…besides only an hour to go at work…

[2:58 PM] Me: Just read article on Frito-Lay. Doritos are slumping, so they’re going after both the pricier snacks AND the cheapest. New strategy, they say. As for me, I still like Doritos. Used to be that was fancy. Anyway, struggling bodega on my corner sometimes has nothing else.

[3:15 PM] Bob: …got another bag …nacho cheese off course…ranch doritos..are just…ranch corn chips.

[3:19 PM] Bob: …Ranch flavored anything besides ranch dressing is a bit silly to me…as I feel the one need to dip…something about the dipless ranch flaored chips …the spice the powder…ranch flavor need to be wet…as with sour cream…it just looses something…with the dry ingredients…bar-b- que…the only exception…

[3:26 PM] Bob: …so there…downed two bags of Doritos…and have 50 minutes of work left…to bad I don’t need to balance my check book…or address some cards …with notes…say when is [redacted]’s birthday…maybe I could get started on that …and hope it goes better then my efforts earlier in the year…

[3:32 PM] Me: I’m a Cheetos man. Puff or crunch.

[3:39 PM] Bob: …yes…cheetos…but we were on chips….but as you made the move to extruded corn…yes cheetos are top notch….puffed ones for the slow savor…crunchies …well for a little more aggressive snacking…but we can’t overlook the cheeseball…as a contender in the “puffed” category…they are also perform better when chucked either in a …jester of sharing …or…in a offensive tactical nature

[3:43 PM] Me: I am going rogue here: the pretzel chip! Have you had these??

[3:49 PM] Bob: ..the pretzel chip please…the pretzel …hard….cheese wiz….and potato chip…with the cheese wiz as the adhesive….bomb, the original pretzel chip….anything else a pretender…

[3:50 PM] Me: Wow. That’s bold.

[3:54 PM] Bob: …and please lets keep in mind..snacking …should be more …there should be an experiance as well…otherwise….loose the belt and grab a couch…remote ..

[3:54 PM] Me: Of course

[3:59 PM] Bob: …so yes…at work….Nacho Cheese Doritos with a Mountain Dew…classic..or your pretzel chips….onthe go snack….but at home…maybe expand it to …Doritos and crunchy peanut butter tucked into a wheat baguette….complimented with Lays classic potato chips dippeds in Liptons California Onion Dip….the drink….chocolate shake or rootbeer float…snacking…proper….with a purpose….experiance…

[4:02 PM] Me: Well played. My most common gnosh is Planters Mixed Nuts, and yogurt-covered pretzels. Handful of these nearly every day.

[4:11 PM] Bob: …yes …nice….but…kinda slanted towards the healthy side of snacking…unless…I assume…the volume consumed …brings you up to a respectfull…fat….sodium …and calorie…count…on par…sya with a cup of cheese wiz…or sour creme…or ranch dressing….snacking…good …solid snacking…as with anything good in life…should dangle a little bit of risk…

[4:13 PM] Me: No, sorry. I’m letting you down there.

[5:37 PM] Bob: …don’t apologize …it takes a big man to snack…well

[5:52 PM] Me: You said a mouthful.

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